one might say we're banned from that church
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
