Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
