Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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