bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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