halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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