But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
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