Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Your shirt... Was in my pants
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
