so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
