i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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