I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize