Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
