He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
