if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
