You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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