were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
