turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
