Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
