she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
