I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
