1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize