totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
