So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
