What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
