i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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