So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
