my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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