She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
