So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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