Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
