is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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