What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
