Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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