She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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