Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
