when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
