Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
