So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
