so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
It's Friday. Sex?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
