Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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