Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
