literally had 100 drinks last night.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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