Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
