How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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