i'm signing you up for texting rehab
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
