i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
