I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
