You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Oh god it's open bar.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
