No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
