i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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