Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
